All you Lulahoe’s NEED to chill

Before y’all get offended please know thats everything in this is my opinion but low-key truetenor

Every year we are treated to a new Multi-Level Marketing(MLM) or as I call them, scams for teen/single moms and stay at home moms. I’m OVER them, they clog up our Facebook feeds and attempt to guilt trip us into buying their snake oil garbage. NOT with me honey, i’am too mentally strong to fall for that shit. Don’t attempt to guilt my girlies and I into buying your shit. Facebook needs to make their own EPA because these bitches are polluting the internet. What pisses me off the most is their is zero effort. Oh you posted a picture on Facebook and did a awkward Live? Cookie Girl?  I would rather go door to door than look thirsty AF on Facebook. No one wants the shit you’re selling and the worst part is these mlm-ers understand that, they only want your ass to sign up and pay them a start up fee and allow them to collect a percentage of your profits (Berine Madoff would be proud). Thats the real purpose of these shitty MLMs, its not to sell you shit, it’s to get you too join and become one of their “Consultants”. Gross, selling lies & false promises to profit off innocent moms who are just trying to provide for their families. Go watch 9 to 5 with Dolly Parton, and find a real job.

The best part is a lot of these MLM companies are founded by so called “Religious” people just like LulaRoe or as I call it LulaHoe. LulaRoe is a tacky clothing company founded by, Deanne and Mark Stidham, two of the greediest Mormons EVER. Even God judges their asses because they are the definition of leeches. Their company, LulaRoe maybe the worst MLM ever because of how shady they are. They promote themselves as a company that is all about women empowerment, but actually it’s about milking these ladies dry worst then breast feeding their child.

Basically the premise is you pay a start up fee, which according to this Facebook page I stalk about former LulaRoe sellers, is about $4,500 to get your initial inventory. Thats just for the basic bitch package too! Then another $500 for other random start up costs. Some ladies go all in buy buying traveling buses or building stores in their houses, because shopping in a bus isn’t awk or anything. But no matter how much you invest at the start, most of these ladies end up the same, BROKE AF. The problem is that when you start having clients buy your graudy clothings, you have to continue to buy more. The way LulaHoe works is that you can pick the styles and sizes but not the patterns. So basically you’re shopping like Helen Keller.

In my HONEST opinion these ladies have about 10% cute things and then 90% gross tacky patterns that I believe LulaHoe is pushing to them on purpose. By not allowing you to pick the patterns, they know no matter what they sell you, you have to accept it. So these ladies will sell the 10% cute stuff then be stuck with the other 90% and each time new stuff is released these ladies keep on shoving the other 90% in their basement till their in the red so bad they cant buy anymore clothing. This is when they become REAL desperate. LulaHoe used to buy back your unsold clothes when you terminated your contract with them. However, earlier this year they ended that and now basically give you a horrible low ball offer thats so bad you rather just burn the clothes then pay to ship them, its very un-morman like.

These ladies also have contracts where they cannot sell their clothes below a set price and if you do legit these other moms snitch on you. Petty much? There is nothing scarier then a Facebook mom, those hoes are nuts. If you speak out against LulaHoe anywhere, they will legit crucify you. These are deadass the same psycho fan girls of Backstreet Boys or NKOTB, only their older, on Xanax and with kids. I personally believe these ladies know they are selling shit and working for a shit company but they’re so desperate to get out of debt they will sell their children if it means another person will join. Every time they get another mom to join, a part of their soul dies. The worst thing about this company is instead of admitting they sold these ladies shitty patterns, they instead blame them and told them “your products are not stale, you are.” Are you fucking kidding me, get off your fat lazy Mormon ass and you try selling that shit. The real reason why they hide the patterns before hand is because they know their fucking gross. Not even Walmart could sell that shit. How amazing of a business plan is that, make ladies basically buy a mystery box of clothing and just deal with it ladies! Last Christmas they seriously sent ladies clothing with the lead designer, Patrick and the founder, Deanne’s face. I’m being 100.

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Nastier then a pair of crocs.

How fucking bold are you to send ladies that shit and expect them to fucking sell it. That takes balls and shows that they legit don’t care. When they die I personally know that God will not want their ass even remotely close to heaven with that tacky shit. Even when these dumb fucks did a Disney line they fucked that up too and some how made it look fugly. Walt Disney is rolling in his grave.

My favorite conspiracy theory about LulaHoe is about what they do with their returns. So basically LulaHoe doesn’t do black, which would actually sell unlike their other shit. So last fall they announced their, Noir collection which is all their styles in all black. Okay cool, until the day the product launched and legit all the big wigs at the top or as they call them, Mentors, got this stuff and legit none of the bottom bitches got any. Thats so fucked because the bottom bitches actually needed the sales, not the ladies at the top. It was rumored that the mentors who were at a leadership training bullshit got access to Noir before anyone else. How fucked is that,it just shows that they only care about the mentors because they make them the real money. The conspiracy isn’t that the top ass kisser got it all, its that Noir is made out of returned clothes that were bleached then dyed black. OMG how juicy I know right! I’ve seen pics of this shit bleeding on clothes and seats and every pic makes me laugh.

Seriously y’all need to get on this Facebook page, “LuLaRoe Defective/Ripped /Torn Leggings And Clothes”, the gossip on it is AMAZING. A former employee of LulaHoe has been exposing the company left and right. Last summer a lot of the sellers got shitty clothes that look sun bleached, had holes or where just dirty AF. Lula legit blamed everyone from the sellers to UPS, but this former worker revealed that LulaHoe was too cheap to buy more storage space so they left the clothes outside for MONTHS! Then had the nerve to send them to customers and force them to sell them! How more fucked up can this company be, seriously.

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Legit all of Lularoe’s trashy clothes outside…

All of this isn’t even the worst part of this company, their founder Deanna, aka Queen of the shitty leggings, is apart of some weird weight loss surgery cult down in Tijuana. This is some shit out of a Lifetime movie. She and her family like refer people to a doctor in Tijuana for a weight loss surgery and you Paypal them the cash and you fly down there. Deanne is even nice enough to offer you to stay at her house to recover. WTF how creepy is that, they’re making you Paypal them so they can get their cut! These are the scummiest Mormons since Joseph Smith. What makes it even more fucked is that they refer Mentors to this doctor. How shady is that, you have these leadership events basically saying thank you to these ladies for making them rich, then you have the nerve to tell these ladies oh you need to loose weigh fat ass I know the doctor for you……..like am I on shrooms? How is any of this real, how does DEANNE sleep with herself. Profiting off these ladies stupidity and desire to lose weight is sin worthy. God be making a long list of all their greedy sins.

What depresses me is these ladies call themselves “Boss Babes” because “they’re their own bosses” like girl bye. Your boss is Deanne and all the credit cards you racked up for this shit. Stop believing ladies on Facebook and ACTUALLY research these companies, for some reason its difficult to find things about the company not made by consultants of the company but farther down you will find former sellers crying about the thousands of dollars they’ve lost because they believed in the company. The worst part however maybe that these ladies will never learn, they will cry for a week then join a new MLM. They never learn! They are so desperate to not get a real job that they will believe anything. That sounds cruel but its true! Its not that they’re lazy but they have kids and working 9 to 5 isn’t realistic. Find something else to do then! What happened to craft fairs? A majority of them now are filled with these garbage MLM companies instead of Grandma Bonnies hand crafted Christmas decorations. One may ask, why would anyone allow MLM to be sold at a school Craft Fair? Its because these fucking MLM moms run the PTO. It’s seriously a deep web of desperation and it needs to end.

With all these scandal surrounding LulaHoe you knew a lawsuit was bound to happen. Legit not one but dozens of them from former sellers. I love watching this shitty company fail. But knowing how America works, they’ll just rename themselves and start over new and find more moms to mooch off of. MLM’s are like crack to this family. Deanne’s twin sister, Dianne(slap her mom please) own Piphany (formerly Honey & Lace). But it doesn’t stop there, her niece Buffy founded Agnes & Dora and Deanne’s daughter Nicole founded Dot Dot Smile. All of these companies are the same shitty clothing quality but different themes for different ages like PLEASE STOP THIS FAMILY. Forget the illegal immigrates President Trump, deport Deanne’s family.

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