Okay, I’m pretty sure someone did some black magic on me. For some bizarre reason I am NOT allowed to have a good time at Bull n Bear. Either I am being threatened to be jumped next time I go or someone at Bull N Bears wants to kick my ass. MY God why can’t my girlies and I EVER have a fun,drama free night! All we wanna do is have some fun! I guess I got a feeling, we’re legit the only ones!
Let me start my Bull n Bear tales of jealously at the beginning. When they first opened I rolled my eyes. The restaurant is located in legit the dead zone of restaurants, due to that fact that its located in front of a trailer park. Like not to sound like a twat but nothing ruins a classy dinner than looking out the window and seeing a fucking trailer park, talk about a mood kill! All the restaurants before had an ice cream stand attached, I think thats what killed them. No one wants to be romantic while a little shit kid is running around getting his dirty ass sticky fingers on me. THANK GOD, BnB killed that shit and made it an adult friendly country vibe bar. Better than the expensive AF country bar at Destiny, that was deff a front to clean drug money.
What changed BnB FORVER is $4 dollar doubles everyday…. like they’re basically paying for me to drink. I get typed trashed on like 3 of those and I only spend $16 dollars! I think they do it because they know our drunk asses are going to bless with a tip, unless you’re Audra, cheap bitch. We love Bull N Bear, seriously its our go to place if we’re too lazy or too scared to go downtown, you know how that crime be. Thursday night Karaoke is our shit, we love it! Its so entertaining to watch people sing covers of songs and whats amazing is not everyone sucks ass. Obvs they will never come close to my Celine Dion covers but hey! Not everyone can have daddy’s pipes. Now I never sing there because my church choir teacher would KILL me if she found out I was using my talents for fun and not for God.
My first Bull n Bear drama started last year around Mothers Day. My old co-worker was this 50 something psycho who was stuck in the 80’s. Mullet, ripped sleeves and YES, the tacky sport cars. Its like we get it you’re a douche! Now this co-worker and I, used to be somewhat amigos, but after I left to work for Lying Hillary and came back he started to be mad rude to innocent me! I just roll my eyes and laugh but this Mothers Day he obvs had a stick up his ass. This wannabe Mr.T and I always get into it and he always threatens to “Beat my ass” like some inner-city gang member and I always giggle and walk away. The day before Mothers Day at legit 8am he started to bitch because it was all girls working plus him and I. With everywhere I go, all of these girls are Daddy’s Girls and they thought “Gill” (I changed his name for legal reasons) was a old creep. Now he started to make these nasty pervy comments and we all ignored it because workplace harassment isn’t cute.
So after 30 mins of us acting like he was wearing the invisibly cloak. He freaked out like he was on bath salts saying we’re all doing nothing but standing around. We all honestly thought it was a joke, so collectively we laughed as a group, that made him go legit insane. After his disrespectful uses of words, I finally spoke up and said you can leave Gill we’re too busy to deal with your bull. He legit takes off his gloves and is in my face about to whoop my cute ass. I could seriously still smell his Roast Beef from the night before. After 10 minutes of us legit in a screaming match and my girlies having no clue what to do I look over and my girl Nikki just showed up to work. Her jaw was dropped and she was beyond confused at what to do! She didn’t know if she should get her mace or call 911. Gill finally realized he will NEVER win in a screaming war with me. So he walked away and started to work again. 30 minutes later he comes behind my baby girl Nikki’s back and legit “TRYS” to be cute and unties her apron. Like wtf thats legit the definition of sexual harassment. We were all mortified that his roast beef ass had the nerve to disrespect MY baby girl like that. I made a comment about keeping our hands to ourselves and he storms off, like some baby back bitch. THANK GOD FINALLY!
After GILL left we all had an AMAZING TIME! Not only did we all kick ass and beat our numbers from last year but we all made maddd memories! I was playing some face down ass up music, we had pizza and the laughs were flowing. At the end of the day before we all left I, being the petty boy I am, wrote on the white board, “Thank you to everyone who stayed past noon we had an AMAZING mothers day”. I honestly forgot I did that, until the next morning when I get a fucking voicemail.
I’m in the shower getting ready for work legit making the shower my stage till my damn song stops. I look at it and its my job, now it was wayyy to early for someone important to be calling me. I was ABOUT to answer it, but God like told not too, let voicemail get it! Love when God looks out for me! Boy was I blessed not to answer that call. When I get out and listen to it, its legit fucking GILL threatening to fight me, at ready for this….Thursday Night Karaoke at Bull N Bear lmao. Like wtf how does he know thats my shit! Is he stalking me? Does he know about my amazing Celine Dion covers?
Okay how creepy is that voicemail! I was so shook like I was like do I call the owners or 911? For once in my life I didn’t know what to do! Yeah, I was low-key scared but I’m no snitch! So I decided to the one thing that I truly thought God would want me to do, turn it into a song! Legit my work on this song still to this day impresses me and the music video is legit Oscar worthy. I’am pretty sure Gill has no clue about the song or music video because being the child he is, blocked me on Facebook. Ugh that really hurt my feelings (eye roll). I am just waiting for the day he tries to jump my ass while I’m on stage singing “and its all coming back”.
My second Bull N Bear story happened last night at once again FUCKING Thursday night karaoke. My girlies called me and was like “Daddy we scooping you and we’re going to Bull n Bear”. After my cray week I needed a drink ASAP so I obvs said yes. We arrived there and naturally I get the $4 dollar rum n cokes flowing. And yes I get well rum, my ass cant afford the top shelf shit. The karaoke starts and legit every song in a row was a bop. My girlies and I were having a bomb ass time till this fucking loser comes up and start screaming at us. Now I promise you this, this isn’t my ghosting friends who would actually cause a scene. These are my wine drinking friends, who get embarrassed when I shake my ass in public.
He starts accusing us of staring at his girlfriend singing….I am sorry but WHAT? Your girl is singing at karaoke lmao did you expect everyone to turn around? She’s singing Buckcherry’s “Crazy Bitch” shouting “Hey I am a crazy bitch but I fuck so good I’m on top of it”. You think no one is going to look at that lmao? Its not like she was singing “OH happy days”! Take you and your trashy Walmart Marvel hat and leave my girlies and I alone!! All we wanna do is jam and dance, why you being extra? He’s telling us he legit owns that area of Bull n Bear and that if he wanted to he could get us kicked out. Lmaoo what? We honestly laughed in his face. WHO ARE YOU? Are you Mr. Bull or Mr. Bear? NO, so leave my girlies and I alone wtf dude. No one is laughing at your fucking girl, WE’RE WATCHING. If you don’t want people watching your girl than go to a bar for the blind. Some people are just so fucking vain. As you can tell, we didn’t leave nor did he get us kicked out. Lmaoooo boy be acting as if he P. Diddy or something. Also if you think you’re the king of Bull n Bear you really need to get new priorities.
Xoxo rum n cokes
Sir Dutches 
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