Friends over 2, end in poo.

Okay has anyone else realized that friend groups over 2 just DON’T work out? Either you have one person who’s crazy and convinced everyone in the group is talking about her or everyone in the group is really talking about her lol. It’s not because we’re cruel, it’s because that’s how society works. We naturally have to choose one person we have to hate. They did nothing to us and may actually be a nice person. But something in us just makes us want to punch them every time we see them. We NEVER laugh at their jokes, no matter how funny they are. When we make plans, we always “forget” to invite them. If you have only one close friend this never happens. Larger friend groups are just a cesspool of jealously and lies. Just because Stacy lets you borrow her crop tops doesn’t mean she WON’T fuck ur mans.

I, for one, am seriously trying to work on my need to despise someone. Being mean gives you wrinkles & a bad room in heaven. I’ll walk into a room of new people and instantly pick out the one I hate. Ugh it’s so mean of me but maybe God’s just letting me know secretly that person is a piece of shit. So it’s like his way of telling me, don’t invite Becky to karaoke later. I was the WORST, at this in high school. I lived for the weekends I was home alone just so I could make an EXCLUSIVE invite list to my parties. Turning someone uninvited away gave me a rush. Or I would make them feel SUPER uncomfortable. I really feel like shit about it now. That’s why I always invite homeless people to my get togethers.

Because of my years of seeing friends come and go the only people I deem loyal are God and Whitney Houston’s ghost. If you betray me, God will bring his wrath upon you. Whitney on the other hand will get you addicted to crack. Ugh I love my friends they’ll do ANYTHING to protect me

Xoxo sorry if I’m mean

P.s. my podcast WAS going to premiere today but some of the girlies I interviewed “regretted” some of their statements. So now I gotta edit it like I’m CNN or something. Also I’m working on a dope theme song with my church group that’s gospel with a hint of R&B ❤️