This will be a spoiler free article about “13 Reasons Why” because one, I HATE when people spoil a show and two, my focus will be on how we all can do better.My mother and I watched the whole season together within 2 days, a show about teenage suicide, perfect for family bonding!!
Some say this show glamorizes suicide, but I believe its actually the opposite. It shows us that all suicide does is transfers your pain to someone else. Hannah may have been able to end her suffering but realistically it started the pain her family and friends had to suffer after. I know its just a show but it honestly made me think about on all the shitty things I have done in the past for a quick laugh or to make friends.
It shouldn’t be surprising that I was a victim of bullying. I STILL have a year book from 5th grade when I transferred to a new school and someone legit wrote “Are you gay” in my yearbook. I thought it was nothing but little did I know it would be the start of a few years of hell. But I don’t regret my “loser” time because it taught me to learn to defend myself with words because I’m too skinny to fight.
Middle school was the worst, all the guys legit went out of their way to make my life hell. Now when I think back upon it, I blush because people were THAT invested in making my life hell. Later on in life I would discover most of these guys were fags so THERES THAT!
I would go to the bathroom and people would write “Matt Oleay is a faggot” okay its cute that I’m on your mind 24/7 but AT LEAST have the decency to spell my name right. My mother being the bad ass bitch she is, raised hell in that school but nothing happened.
So I decided to take the matter into my own hands and watch some Joan Rivers stand up and taught myself to become a asshole with my words. I would learn about my bully’s family life, are they poor is their mom fat? Then I would use that against them, I only got beat up once because of my mouth and I honestly deserved it.
I started to make fun of others so people would stop making fun of me. And like Hannah, that ended my pain but it transferred it to my victims. I truly was so mean, I sprayed this kid with Fabreeze because he smelt bad. I saw his face when the whole bus laughed at him, I felt bad for second then I saw how everyone was finally laughing with me and not at me and it felt good.
I now think back at how cruel and nasty I was, when people would call me out for it I would say “Its a dog eats dog world”. I would rather be one of my bullies then to be the victim anymore. Thats why I got so much bad karma throughout the years.
God was trying to show me that friends are temporary, bad karma is forever. I wish I could take back all the cruel things I did but I’m not Cher, I can’t turn back time. Instead I can now use my energy for positivity in the world. I want to do good in a world of so much bad. Expose the corrupt and use my platform for good, not evil!
Stopping one person from bullying you, is just a temporary bandaid, because 2 new bullies will pop up. After I conquered middle school, I thought my struggles were over. Then high school happened and I had to fend off four grades of ass hole.
Not to sound like a bitch but seriously I had some pretty shitty times. I had this one guy in the grade above me who would honestly go out of his way to make my life hell. One day when we were leaving school I was in my friends car, I look over and see his friends. They all do the classic “Fag” and “Homo” chats but this one kid took it a step further and told me to “fucking kill myself”. Luckily I am vain and too obsessed with myself for suicide, but imagine if I wasn’t? Imagine if I decided to take that next step and actually do something to end my pain.
But fear not this story has a good ending. Three years later at a party in college I ran into this kid. At first I was so nervous when he started to walk up to me. But when he started to apologize for his past actions and how couldn’t stop thinking about them, it honestly lifted a weight off my chest.
My voice was just high and people acted like I was some freak! My voice has always been the one thing I hated about myself. Seriously even in college I was afraid to speak in class because I didn’t wanna deal with the bullshit. But sadly that made me miss out on many opportunities I regret. I never did the school musicals even thou I loved musicals because I didn’t wanna deal with being called the singing homo.
Teachers have no clue whats going on outside of school because most kids bottle it up. Thats why I truly believe we need to spend more money on school therapist and counselors. Each student, once a week should have a 30 minute period of a one on one vent session.
No one wants to go out of their way to see the counselor because people would make fun of them, but if they are forced to go they will be able to vent to someone about anything they want, good or bad. People don’t realize what students have to deal with on a daily basis.
Young people make dumb decisions, but that shouldn’t define them. Hannah didn’t make the wisest decisions but does that mean she should of gotten raped? HELL NO! People need to start holding their friends and family members accountable. If we see or hear something questionable, SPEAK OUT ABOUT IT! Keeping quite only creates a cycle of pain. Thats what happened on the show.
Bryce the rapists teammates all knew he was a rapist and instead of calling him out, they covered it up? Why, because they were “family” who had to look out for each other. Sorry but sport teams tend to be a group of enablers. From the players to the coaches and finally the parents. They will go to great lengths to protect their image.
Well I don’t care how close we are, if you rape, sexually assault or even touch someone that doesn’t want it, I will make it my mission to EXPOSE you. This show really got me in my feelings and after talking to my girlies I heard some horrific stories. But what was sad is a majority of them wanted to keep quite so they didn’t “Rock the Boat” or go through the pain of being on trial. This show portrays how NASTY the media and lawyers can be. I understand you have a job to do but COME ON at the end of the day you are destroying someones life.
What people need to understand is rape isn’t just someone saying no and you have sex with them anyways. Rape can be one of your “boys” at a party who has sex with a girl who didn’t say no because she’s too drunk to. Sadly I’ve witnessed this before.
When a girl gets drunk at a party dudes turn into piranhas. The next day they tell their “boys” about it and instead of calling them out, we give them “dabs”. Seriously I had friends tell me stories about threesomes where the girl was trashed but because she was dancing with them all earlier, it was COOL. Ummm no? It may be “cool” with your boys but with God it is NOT.
Or how in high school a girl accused a group of boys of taking advantage of her, most people felt sorry at first but when we heard she was drinking and smoking with them before, we all said oh so she was cool with it? WTF was wrong with me and the rest of the school. No one wondered how she was doing, instead everyone gossiped about the story and laughed about it. I seriously feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. What if that was my daughter?
Why is it that guys can have all the sex in the world, but if a girl does she’s a skank or a slut. I have a friend who always cheats on his girlfriends and sleeps around but no one calls him a slut, they view him as “cool” and an “inspiration”. But when one of my girlies do that people say she’s a skank and if anything every happens to her, she “deserved” it. As Sheri on the show said, “Girls don’t get themselves into bad situations. Guys make situations bad”.
I understand some people lie about these things but its not our place to decide that. Its our justice system responsibility to figure out what happened. But thats what makes this even more messed up. Most of the time there is no evidence, only he said, she said. Thats why people get away with this shit. Its sad that people have to be afraid to get justice for what happened to them.
Whats even worse is how money can help you get away with it all. Our justice system only works for the rich. If you have money, you can afford an amazing lawyer and get away free. But if you are poor, you are in for a rude awaken.
It’s sick to see how far a school will go to cover up a crime. They trashed Hannah reputation on the show in order to save their own & sadly that happens in real life as well. Schools will do WHATEVER they have to, in order to keep their schools good reputation in tack.
Even at my High School, this happened. I won’t tell the story because its not my story to tell but long story short things were happening, the school knew and did nothing. When someone finally did something, the school took steps to insure they would be not held responsible. Instead of worrying about the victim, their first priority was to make sure the school wouldn’t get sued. Things like this we don’t believe can happen in our own backyards but they do.
We all CAN & must do better, we should never question if a girl is lying or not. Let the investigation play out then make a decision. If we see something we have to say something. One of your friends is creepy towards people CALL THEM OUT. Staying silent makes you responsible as well. The rapist is a horrible person, but you’re even worse for doing nothing.
This includes parents too, stop using money to cover up the crimes of your children. Rape is so seriously, not everyone can cope with it the same way. If she’s out smiling and having fun after accusing someone, it doesn’t mean she’s lying, its just her way of coping with it.
If you think this show just over dramatizes rape and sexual assault and how the media and the world handle it PLEASE watch “Aubrie and Daisy” on Netflix. Its a documentary about two girls who were the victim of assault and how they reacted to it. The media ripped the girls apart because their rapist were members of the football team.
We live in a world that’s meant to break us, we all need to do better so we don’t let people get into a place like Hannah or those who shoot up schools. Don’t be like the guidance counselor on the show & wait till it’s too late. What if one of the kids I used to bully killed themselves or shot up the school. How would I react to that? Thank God that never happened but still, in another universe it did and I would NEVER be able to come back from that.
Xoxo give only positive energy to the world, negativity gets us nowhere