The bond you form with your dealer is something that develops overtime. You have to learn to trust this dude because you don’t want no weak shit, or it be laced. Luckily for me, if it ain’t green it ain’t for me so I don’t have to worry about fentanyl laced shit but still it could be spike!
Spike is synthetic weed that’s ghetto baby girl smoke, it’s made with nasty chemical and legit killing people. It’s sick! With my main dealer I don’t have to worry about this, home boy always treats me like a king. Before this daddy had a trust no one mentality so I personally would weight it out after each time just to make sure there was no funny business.
After I decide you’re a top notch plug I make them the official drug dealer of Daddy. This means I send all my girlies your way so yeah mad thots hitting them up. I find the best dealers are people of color(is that the correct term? Idk so awk). White people tend to play wayyyy to much.
Sadly one time after my dealer was dry I had to go to my 4th back up dealer. Yes I have a list of 5 dealers, you NEVER know when it’s going to be a drought! My girlies at work and I were going to spilt some bud because we’re hell smart. The trick for cheap kush is to buy it in bulk and spilt it.
This lowers the cost by legit a lot, it’s amazing, basically like going to Costco. What happened next legit made me forever be worry of my dealers, beside a select few. I hit him up and he said he was good. He said that his friend had his stuff however but he could meet me. Now I knew his friend because we got babysat together by a legit psycho. So at first I was hesitant but then I was like nah it’s good he prob remembers me, how could you not I’m adorable!
So I leave work and go meet him at Wendy’s. I pull in and he’s already waiting. I get in and say, “hey man how you been?”. Being nice like daddy ALWAYS is. What happens next legit made me question my faith.
He goes, “good, we gotta be quick this spot is hot”, I was like ummm okay and gave him the cash. He then gives me a black liquor bag and I didn’t even question it really. I just grabbed it and got out. As I get in my car and start it I get a slight whiff of popcorn. At first I thought I tooted but then I was like “waittt I didn’t eat popcorn”. So I was like wait there’s no way.
I decided to open the black bag and what do I find…. FUCKING POPCORN. I legit screamed like my life depended on it. Asking God, seriously? Why do you always play games? He already sped away so I call the dealer and said wtf games is your friend playing? He played all dumb saying dude there’s no way he did that I’ll call him. So I call my co-workers and they legit start laughing then realize waittt we spilt that with you Matt WTF.
I start calling legit all our mutual friends and one was like dude he deff was apart of it he told me a few days ago they were going to do that exact thing to someone. I was shook! Was this a conspiracy? Did he know or didn’t he? Well daddy ain’t no fool I knew his ass knew. I blew up all my social media apps like it was my job. Telling everyone what he and his friend did and not to buy from him. I even offered to get them a new dealer at a lower cost just to damage his business. Yeah I lost money but fuck it I wanted to DESTROY his business.
I did this for honestly a week and even pinned the tweet so it was the first tweet everyone saw. I changed my Twitter handle saying LeRonWillRobYouDontBuy. Then God told me, Matthew forgive and forget, you just did the lords work. I basically donated to charity. And YES, I did write it off at the end of the year on my taxes. All my girlies that were fucking him or did fuck him texted him up saying THE BOX IS CLOSED! Yeah the bank account and the P were effected by this idiotic move. You wanna cross me? You aint getting NO Pussy!
Why out of all people would you rob legit the loudest mouth in Syracuse? Don’t you know I don’t sleep? I legit have the energy and time to ruin a life if must be. Both of them later on apologized to me but it was too late, my coven of skanks and I already casted an evil spell. Back acne and YES they started to bald. Don’t EVER cross a witch because we’re petty like a bitch.
Xoxo the popcorn wasn’t even buttered!
Sir Dutches 
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