Normally when I think of child brides I think of the Middle East, not the United States. Well little did my dumbass know that legit in the United States this shit be on the low low. Like what the HELL! Between the catholic church, Dan Schneider and now this, can anyone just leave the damn kids alone? According to The Economist, between 2000 and 2015 207,000 American minors were married.
Almost a 1000 of them were 14, like gross. 27 states have no minimum age for marriage. HOW CREEPY! Do y’all want Jimbo to marry his 10 year old neighbor? That same article says that between 70-80% of child marriages end in divorce. No shocker there….. Married children are twice as likely to live in poverty and three times more likely to be beaten by spouses than are married adults. That sounds fun? Imma skip that sign up day.
Around 50% of child brides drop out of high school, prob because they are over people asking them, whys ur baby daddy from the Korean War? Also they are four times less likely to finish college. And they are 90% more likely to be those annoying AF moms who sell Lularoe leggings on Facebook. Just because of that we should end this shit now. Both sides of the political aisle can agree on that.
This stuff is most poppin, in conserative religious communites and amoung the poor, mostly in rural areas (Warners). Getting married is not that seriously, can everyone chill for a couple years. Get to know your mans. Make sure, is this old wrinkly dude really want you want? Do you really wanna wake up next to old man dick everyday? Because that would terrify me.
The Guardian has a sadder than Bette Midler’s Beaches article about Sherry Johnson who was 11 when her mother forced her to marry her deacon who raped and impreganted her. Could you imagine having to say “I Do” to your legit rapist? Luickly her parents will have a rude awkening when they died and God says BYE FELICA and kicks them into the pits of hell. Meanwhile Sherry and I will be drinking Titos Soda in heaven with Jesus & Whitney.
In most states, the miminim age for marriage is 18, HOWEVER this can be by passed with parents approval and a judges consent. In 25 states, their government must be pedos because there is no minimum age, sick fucks. Due to Sherry’s story, Florida out of all places is working on passing a law to prevent parents approval.
Why would any SANE parent allow this? Sometimes its like Sherrys case where she was raped and her parents want to cover that up. Other times its to cover up the fact their daughters been hoeing around town so this makes it look like her mistake was NOT out of wedlock. Honey this isn’t Little House on the Prairie, no one cares about that shit anymore. Either A. walk her ass to Planned Parenthood, ask for Stacy and take care of it. Or B. raise the kid yourself and get the creep who got her knocked up ass in jail.
He a pedo, NOT a hubby. What you smoking? Why would you do that to your daughter? Not to sound dramatic but you are LITERALLY ruining her life. For what? To save your family name? Ain’t nobody care about that shit, your family name was trashed the minute your father didn’t pull out.
There is a light at the end of this pedo creep tunnel, Delware just became the first state to ban all child marriages, without exception. Hopefully other states follow but sadly I think it will be a slow process. I guess senators, governors and other politicians are holding out so they can marry a hot piece of young ass? WELL NOT ON MY WATCH!
Xoxo have fun marrying your prison cell mate, big Tony.
Sir Dutches 
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