I-81 is like telephone poles, tacky and needs to go

Syracuse is on a come up season, shit is getting pretty lit in the 315. Hotel Syracuse is revitalized, the Inner Harbor is becoming a new community and no longer a place for pedophiles to roam. And the amphitheater got everyone face down ass up. The only thing standing in the way of more progress is nasty ass I-81.

I-81 isn’t just a grody eyesore, its legit dividing the city. The only thing standing in the way of connecting Syracuse University and Downtown is the fear of being stabbed when crossing under I-81. Whats even worse is how its located next to one of Syracuse’s first housing projects, pioneer homes. To make 81 they destroyed a whole community that was bumpin in the 1950’s and relocated them next to a dirty ass, toxic interstate, THANKS?

I believe we have a chance to redeem ourselves by doing whats right with I-81. Yeah it will be costly but the long term effect will make it Gucci. Because 81 is mad old, the Department of Transportation has to decide to either redo it the same way but add a new lane on both sides, replace it with a community boulevard or my personal favorite, a mix of a tunnel and a boulevard.

Rebuilding it the same way but adding new lanes is dumber than defunding Planned Parenthood. Why would we want that piece of shit back? BYE FELICA! You have over stayed your welcome. Who invited you? In-order to do this we would have to use eminent domain to buy up like a dozen buildings. Thats so stupid! Why would we do what we did in the 50’s all over again! Look how that turned out! People moved out of the city to the suburbs and almost destroyed the city. Nah I’m GOOD! This would cost around $1.7 billion. Yeah billion. To rebuild part of a road? Must be all those kick backs! Is Governor Cuomo’s homie’s COR making this?

The community boulevard is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Basically they would knock down I-81 and make it into a flat road with 2 lanes on both sides. When you approach Syracuse from the North and South you will either contuine on 81 and get off somewhere in Syracuse. Or go around Syracuse by I-481 if you were only cutting thru Syracuse. At first that sounds okay but then you realize that will kill local business. How many people are by passing Syracuse and see our big ass gang filled mall. Or see how stinking cute downtown is and get off for a quick nibble. MAD PEOPLE! This plan would end that and kill potential business. Like our city can afford to lose that tax revenue.

Also, imagine the morning traffic jams but even worse because now all those people not using 81 are now connected to the boulevard. An even more nightmarish scenario will be game day at the Dome. Like HELL NO! I ain’t dealing with that bullshit. I can already roll a blunt and smoke it by the time I’m out of that traffic mess.

This will in a sense make another Erie blvd which is HELL! During rush hour shit is so backed up which allows the homeless people to harass me! Its so annoying like let me jam to my beats! I don’t have cash, get Apple Pay idk what to tell you Mary. Now they wanna add more misery by adding a bike bath in the middle for the homeless I guess but thats another story. This plan will cost about $1.3 billion, again FOR FUCKING WHAT? You’re knocking down a road. I am so confused at where the billion comes from. And with our dumb ass government they will deff go over that budget. Lets be real!

Lastly, is my favorite so naturally it should be yours too.  Theres two names for this plan, Save81 and the Access Syracuse Plan. This would be a mix tunnel-boulevard hybrid.There would be very minimal building acquisation and its less tacky! Basically where Destiny USA starts would go underground for those traveling thru Syracuse. Those who are not would get off on a boulevard exit.

The underground tunnel would then end at where the pinoeer homes begin and go above and connect with the rest of above ground 81 S. This will allow more space to open up for parks, new businesses and connect SU and downtown. Yes it could cost between $3 and 4 billion but think of all the new taxes from the space that could potentially open up. Plus if we have money for a damn boarder wall, we have money for this. Dont play with me papa Trump. Also it would take up to 10 years but imagine being able to travel underground during winter…..yeah I think we can wait.

 

Syracuse could because a tourist attraction city if we continue this growth. The save 81 plan will make this growth excel. The DOT best not be a cock block about this. They originally rejected the tunnel plan because it cost too much but this mixed use one is less expensive, I think Governor Cuomo, New York’s forever idiot supports this plan, prob so he can give one of his buddies the contracting job. He ordered the DOT to include a enviromental study of this plan so now we wont get a decision till 2019. They best not fuck this up but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Xoxo get that piece of shit out of MY city