For all you parents out there, I’m sure your children & tweens but hopefully not teens are fans of at least one loser ass no talent, not funny, mostly annoying Youtuber. I’m sorry but most of them are hacks and are more annoying than a random pimple on your nose.
However there are a few good ones like Shane Dawson. Okay I’ve been a lowkey fan of him since Middle School when YouTube first started. These were the days of the high pitched Fred videos and my favorite, those “Jackie and Debra” videos lol that one with that bitch with the pig nose, so geeked! Little trivia fact, the dude playing the pig nose bitch voices the mom on “Bobs Burgers”, HOW CRAY.
Back to my rant, I drifted away from my YouTube days in 9th grade when people discovered how cute my cheek bones were and I finally left my basement. The point of this article isn’t that these Youtubers are killing your children’s brain cells so CPS should be called on you, it’s about my new favorite conspiracy involving a convention of one of Youtubers biggest “stars”(I use that term loosely), Tana Mongeau. She’s a blonde female……. other than that I couldn’t tell you what the hell she does. I guess talks into a camera and tells you about Starbucks missing up her Frappe order? She decided to create her own convention after she was banned from Vidcon. Vidcon looks and sounds like hell. Its even worse than pledge week at a Sorority. It’s a convention of featuring social media and YouTube celebrities, so a headache. What you do there is beyond me, do you watch the guys take their shirts? And the girls put make up on their grandma on stage? Honestly in todays messed up age, lets be for real the guys are putting make up on granny and the girls are taking their shirts off.
After she was banned she announced her own convention called, Tanacon. The CON should of been capitalized because it was legit a scam, Tana’s mom MUST own LuLaRoe. There were two sets of tickets, “free” ones and paid tickets. It was a free event but the paid tickets got you VIP treatment and you could skip the line. You also could meet all our favorite Youtubers and the most bizarre actress, a thotty reptile like creature, Bella Throne.
Yeah all lies like Khloe’s and Tristians relationship. Legit no one had a free ticket, I’m pretty sure that was made up for tax credit purposes. Skipping the line involved getting sun burned, and NOT the cute kind. Because this event was legit in a hotel lobby, out of the 5,000 people outside only 1,000 could get in. Meaning that legit all day young ass girls were sitting in the hot ass sun for legit nothing, they didn’t even get to go inside and buy t-shirts for $80 dollars! Ugh I feel so bad!
The paid tickets included a goodie bag that had “four times the amount of your ticket” in it, her words. Again fake fucking news, does her dad own Fox News? It only had a condom with her face on it, that’s not a joke, and shitty stickers. This is some Bernie Madoff type shit, Grandpa?
Okay new conspiracy, she poked a hole in all the condoms so mad fans get pregnant. In 9 months she announces a Tana Baby Thot Clothing Line. She trying WAYYYY to hard to be a wannabe Kris Jenner type scammer. Parents need to LOOK INTO WHO THEIR KIDS SUPPORT. This wasn’t a Jonas Brothers concert, this was a $65 dollar ticket to see people do NOTHING. For $65 dollars, I could get 2 Pizza Hut Pizzas, a bag of that good good, a bottle of henny and a rub n tug from Jenny.
What’s even worse is with all these mass shootings, you would think they would have tighten security. No instead, they had 25 dudes I’m convinced they found on Craigslist. No one was being searched nor were bags checked. Wtf y’all begging for ISIS to show up? Is that who got all the “free” tickets?
I think this was a lesson from God that these kids needs to find new hero’s. These Youtubers only care about you if you attend their paid events and buy their crappy merchandise that looks douchier than a confederate flag tattoo.
Shane Dawson was suppose to appear at Tanacon but because of how crazy it got, it was shut down by the cops. He isn’t a vulture like most Youtubers and actually cares so he wanted to figure out WTF actually happened and who was to blame. So naturally he turned his investigation into a 3 part miniseries. And to say I was hooked is an UNDERSTATEMENT.
Shane has always been good at making videos but this one honestly was Netflix like quality. Not only did he obtain mad footage from the event, he also interviewed some girlies that were there and Tana’s shady self. Plus, the creepy Bond type villain of this whole thing, Michael Weist. The “CEO” of Good Times, the event company that put this scam on.
He legit has a buzz cut, bleach blond hair, with mad piercings, hot topic chic clothing, rides around on a Segway & smokes a vape pen. So yeah just by that info you probably already hate him too. This young ass BOY is only 21 years old, putting on an event for over 5000 kids. Where is his mummy? I don’t even think my ADHD ass could put on an event for that many annoying ass girls. Talk about needing a Xanax.
The conspiracy is that this shit show was on purpose. They over sold tickets on purpose so there would be chaos and conveniently from the footage Michael was recording, they could make a documentary to sell. OKAY WHAT. Was this a false flag, heat stroke terrorist attack on the children of the future? Where was Jack Bauer to stop this madness?
After Michael and Tana both blamed each other, Shane got a hold of the contracts and it was NOT good. The contract stated that 1,000 was the capacity, and Michael signed that contract. The ticket company contract stated that if there were any problems, MICHAEL as the “CEO” of Good Times would be held responsible, another contract his dumb ass signed. Meaning that he is personally responsible for refunding ALL $325,000 plus aloe oil to all those crispy girls. Well good luck finding those funds! Maybe start a GoFundMe or a lemonade stand, my boy LeRoy could pimp you out.
Xoxo Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a hero, not some loser sitting in front of a camera making shitty make up tutorials that are NOT cute.
Here’s part 1 of the documentary, just looking at her cry pisses me off:
Sir Dutches 
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