Try to rob me and my smart house will snitch

I’m OBSESSED with turning my house into a smart house, I wanna walk in and say, “Siri play my Afternoon Dutch & Mimosa playlist” or “Siri, Baby gurl, turn the lights in my bedroom on so I can see how cute I am”. With Apple’s Homekit you can do that and sooo much more. They deadass are making my ass even lazier. HomeKit is thing Apple creates to links smart devices together. You can use your iPad or Apple TV as your hub instead of having a bunch of different ones. Installation is a breeze because all you do is plug the devices in and take a picture of the code and bam, already connected to your WiFi.

The first smart device I got was the LiftMaster MyQ garage opener. Basically what this little guy did was allow me to open my garage door via my phone. I got this as soon as it came out about 5 years ago for $70. I have only had one problem with this thing and that was 3 months ago. Because it was the very first model, they didn’t like have it prepared for cold ass Syracuse weather. So the motherboard fried and I was all butt hurt. I called them and because they love me so much they sent a free one even thou it was out of warranty. Love being blessed.

Legit I am Liftmaster’s baby girl. A year ago they announced a new MyQ that is connected to HomeKit. So I could now use Siri to open the garage, aka saving me 10 seconds. I got an email inviting me to try it for FREE! So yeah daddy was blessed with one and it’s been amazing. You get alerts every time it’s open, so I get to track EVERYONE. I wanna know who da fuq is trying to steal daddy’s fur coats.

Next I got the Koogeek smart plugs for $25 a piece. These allow you to turn any plugged in device on or off using Siri. We have these in our front windows so when we aren’t home or just want to brighten up the place, we can turn them on! Letting all robbers know, come fucks with me,I’m packing heat. I bought the smart light switch by Koogeek but sadly my house is too old so we don’t have this wire needed to constantly power it. SO ANNOYING. I could pay an electrician to install one but it’s not that serious. I can get off my lazy ass and hit the normal switch, I guess.

Next, I got the Ecobee smart thermostat for $169. Most people get the Nest, but they’re own by Google and I do NOT trust their shady ass. The Ecobee is not only lit because Siri can control your temperature , but also because it gives you reports on how much money you are saving.

My latest buy is by far my FAVORITE. The Ring doorbell for $99. This little guy does NOT play. It’s a doorbell but smart. It has a camera so when someone rings it you get alerted inside and with your phone! Plus you get to watch EVERYTHING and speak and listen to them as well. I stalk my dogs all the time this way when they are on the porch getting those summer rays. You can also set it so anytime someone walks past it, you get an alert and it’s records. For only $3 dollars a month they will store this data for 60 days. SO WORTH IT! Why risk your safety?

Most robbers stalk your house first, this way you’ll have footage of what they look like. This isn’t a HomeKit product yet, but for years Ring has been saying they are going to add it. When Apple announced HomeKit 3 years ago they included a video of someone ringing a Ring doorbell and it showing up on your AppleTV so you can answer it on there. Okay when they add that I will DIE. How lit would that be. But sadly Amazon just bought Ring so most likely it will be a Amazon Fire TV exclusive, gross. This came in handy very recently with we had an unexpected guest come to the house at midnight, but that’s a story for another day. After the lawyers clear it.

I plan on next buying rings spot light cam that basically is a motion spot light with a camera obviously. My dogs safety is no joke, I am NOT risking their livelihood. I have a cheap camera from Amazon in my backyard already but that’s mostly to watch the hawks. Seriously we have a bad hawk problem in our neighborhood. They want my dogs so bad because they’re hella cute but NOT on my watch. If you want to smart up your house and you’re an Apple baby like me, make sure you get HomeKit only products. They make it so simple and easy to install.

Xoxo rob my house bitch, my girlies and I will laugh and expose your ass via an article & mad HD vids of your face

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