At lot of people have been asking me lately, “with your basic bitch job, how can you afford such a lit, high class, non fake news website?”. With the support of Randy, my old ass sugar daddy. Due to the fact that he’s married with 4 kids and 7 grandkids I can’t give out the last name.
The only person who has met him is TT and that’s only because she randomly ran into us at the casino buffet, I told her he was my grandpa but she goes ” ummm Matt all your grandparents are dead”. I hate noisy bitches, why you at the casino buffet alone? That’s the real question
I met Randy on Seeking Arrangements about 4 months ago. Randy is a 74 year old former lawyer who is legit loaded. He mostly spends time between his house in Fayetteville and on Skaneateles lake. His wife hates his ass and is always traveling with her girlies, I can’t WAIT to steal that from her. I get about $500 every week of spending money and every month he give my $1000 to maintain & pay my website bills. Building a multimedia orgasmic empire does NOT come cheap.
The money is GREAT, what’s not great is his creepiness. Luckily he’s in a electric wheelchair so when he’s really annoying I’ll “forget” to charge it. Thank God his old ass can’t get it up so I don’t have to deal with that, but what he does want is me to sit naked in his wife’s fur coat for 30 minutes, just so he can stare at me.
I’m not even kidding you…. the first time I was like am I done but he didn’t respond, so when I moved he screamed so loud at me I so shook he slipped me a $100 for my troubles. Do you understand how uncomfortable it is to sit still for 30 minutes while a old creepy fuck stares at you?
His odor is really bad too, no matter how many sponge baths I give him, he still smells like moth balls, gag me. He keeps on asking me to sleep over but I refuse to, I am NOT waking up to him dead. Because he’s so old and forgets shit I always tell him the same excuse, “I can’t I have court in the morning”. I’m only keeping up this act till he leaves his wife and puts me in the will, Anne Nicole Smith style. If you’re judging me right now you can either F off or pay my bills.
Xoxo my bills are paid
Sir Dutches 
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