When I first heard of this film I was hyped. Hollywood was saying how it was a work of art gay love story without anyone dying of aids. I was like finally! Gay films either end with someone dying of aids or someone getting their ass jumped. It’s like WE GET IT, people hate homos. Such a played out storyline. When Hollywood gonna call me? I could make a whole mini series with the hook up stories I got.
This movie won maddddd awards and everyone was talking about how great it was. But the only opinion I trust is my own. So after it was on Starz, I sat down to review it MY self. And let me tell you, you feel dirty after watching it. Basically the premise is, a 17 year old BOY, Elio spends his summer in Italy cause his fam rich. His father is an professor and invites his 24 year old graduate student, Oliver to stay with them.
From the start there is sexual tension between Oliver and Elio but they both be fooling around with girls so you think nothing of it. Then Elio starts becoming a baby back moody bitch. Stealing Olivers bathing suit to legit smell it, you then watch him play with himself, its fucking weird! Like NORMAL movies hint at that shit, they don’t actually show someone legit putting their hands down their pants and play with themselves! This boy looks like he is 15, and thats being gracious. I just felt icky watching this, but I was like okay maybe this a one off scene, boy was I wrong.
Elio leaves Oliver a note being mad dramatic and Oliver says to meet up at midnight, like some Hallmark movie, but gayer. Its here they have sex for the first time. Like it COULD of been a hot scene, but the whole time I was wondering, who filmed this movie? Pornhub? Kevin Spacey? Even this mans ass look old!
The final straw was when Elio legit jerked off into a peach, yeah a fucking peach. Doesn’t that sting? Who wrote this? This is the MODERN day gay love story everyone being talking about? Bitch please. I could write a REAL gay love story that DOESN’T give you a pedo vibe. After he starts to un-pit the peach, he puts his dick into and goes to town. Again WTF who wrote this? Who does that shit? But then its gets even worse, Oliver comes in and finds the peach and starts to play with it and legit was about to eat it, I wanted to gag. I turned that shit off. I couldn’t handle this movie anymore.
I couldn’t fathom watching that creepy shit a second longer. How is this art? The movie is basically a glorified porno. Art is movies like “Gone with the Wind” or “Curly Sue” not this bullshit. I bet the theaters were MADDD sticky after each showing of this shit. If anyone say this is their favorite movie…. run. Hide your fucking kids.
I understand the need to create a film like this, to show a young gay boy falling in love but why couldn’t he of been 18, why you gotta make him 17. It make the whole film questionable. This just continues the narrative that gay people are low-key creeps, who prey on young boys. I wanna sit down with the whole crew of this film and ask, why? What confuses me even more is WHY no one else in Hollywood agrees with me. All the reviews rant and rave about this movie. It scored very high on Rotten Tomatoes so am I the only one who feels a type of way about this? I CANT BE!
I think they want to normalize pedophila. Both of the main characters are hot, so they hook up at FIRST, you’re rooting for it. But then it hits you, his ass is 17 and the man is 24. Which in my opinion is bullshit. The 17 year old looks at least 15, and the 24 year old could be 30. With all this pedo shit going on in Hollywood I find this movie SUSPECT! I don’t trust it. The acting is good don’t get me wrong but the whole movie gave me gross vibes. This isn’t art its legit child porn.
Xoxo Hollywood fire everyone and hire me, I’ll make pedo free movies
Sir Dutches 
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