This past weekend my girlie rented a party bus to the Casino for her birthday. Because my birthday was Thursday I naturally took it over and made it all about me. The bus had a stripping pole, so yeah I worked it.
*side story
When I was traveling thru the village on my way to the bus. I was pulled over I legit shit my pants. I knew my ass was going 30 because it was the village my ass isn’t stupid, I cruise control that shit. Legit I’m sitting there waiting for him to come out and his ass speeds away. Like wtf was it a senior prank? Did my boy Gucci in heaven protect me?
When I got to the casino my ass had a water to cool down. Twerking & dancing on a moving bus will kill a bitch. I’m smart about my drinking now. A water for every 2 Tito’s sodas. I arrive at Lava and all the girls get in free but my ass it was $15. Excuse me like wtf?? Is that a joke! I asked what if I identify as a girl? They laughed and said cash or credit. Wow so fucked! That’s legit sexist. How is that legal! I go with a squad at least 10 girlies deep, they should me paying ME to come!
I’m just waiting for the day a transgender person gets charged even thou they really do identity as a girl. You know there’s gonna be a big ass lawsuit and the media will milk it dry. Will that end my bitch fits over paying a cover???
The worst part and honestly the most offensive part of the night, was the stage incident. I was legit working the floor at lava, all eyes on me obvs. Making mad new girlie, when they all go on the stage. Now as a old Lava regular on Thursday night back in the day. I knew the rules on the stage, no dudes. So fucked! I know right.
But these girlies go “omg come on stage with us you’re amazing daddy”. I go, “ugh I can’t security will beat my ass”. They go, “nah we’ll defend you to the grave we promise”. I trust their asses so I hopped on the stage. Before I could even shake my little ass, security rip me off that stage like I was some Trump protester.
My so called new girlies who SAID they would defend me instead scurried away like rats. I could NOT believe they lied to me like that. They are DEFF not invited to my quineanera! Why can’t I dance on stage? Is it so everyone can be nasty and treat the girls on stage as meat? Something to stare at while like a bunch of creeps. Legit I would OWN that stage and the pole! I can’t even believe they wanna deny the audience the chance to witness the greatness of daddy work it. Its truly rude and beyond sexist. LET ME ON THE STAGE DAMN IT.
Xoxo whoever hit Caylas car is type DUMBASS, shits on camera SMH! WE PRESSING CHARGES HUN
Sir Dutches 
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