I am jaw dropped at how Eddie Lampert has gotten away with honesty raping Sears. Since him and his company ESL Investments own a majority of Sears Holdings he can do whatever he damn well pleases, with no one to tell him BOY CHILE! As he sat in his Florida mansion, brick by brick he destroyed Sears, a company that is older than Betty White. 125 years old and now its saying BYE FELICIA! Legit this company is so old they started as a mailing service before department stores were even a thing. How did Wall Street allow him to get away with this? Why did no one bitch slap him? Does he have no morals?
Sears was founded in 1886 by Richard Warren who’s definitely rolling in his grave and haunting Eddie’s ass. As a mailing service these mofos sold EVERYTHING. From crop tops to even houses, yeah legit houses. They sent you all the parts and the instructions to build a complete house. So basically the Ikea of houses. Over 75,000 houses were made and some of these houses are still around today. But like what if you lose a piece? What if your dad is mad dumb and makes a death trap instead of a house??
As families started to move to the suburbs, Sears transitioned to a department store model. These stores popped up everywhere like herpes in Onondaga County. Every mall had one, so basically the Sbarros of stores. But then the internet hit and Sears was too stupid to survive. Instead of updating their stores, making them mad cute, they merged with trash ass K-mart. YUCK! I need 5 minutes with whoever thought that was a good ideal. K-Mart is legit the definitely of ghetto trash. Its a second rate Walmart, and that’s saying a lot because Walmart is NASTYYYYYY!
They wanted to merge the stores basically and have blue light specials at Sears and sell Sears products at K-Mart, like Diehard and Lands’ End. Okay maybe that could of worked but again they needed to update their stores, they were basic as fuck, but instead they let them rot, literally. The last time I went to a K-Mart I smelt mold, but maybe that was just the cashier. When I was at Sears like 5 years ago it honestly looked the store got looted.
So if you are wondering, well what were they doing during this time if they weren’t improving the stores? They were making a “Social Media” platform called Shop Your Way(gross I know right) that shared with friends and family what you bought and how much you saved, so spunky right? Nah it was really to collect and sell your information to advertisers, HOW SICK! Screw you Eddie for tricking Grandma Sally and Auntie Sue. You’re why they keep getting harassed with spam mail. At check out they would harass customers trying to get mad info to sign them up for this program. All this did was slow down the check out process and was another way to sell your information. Its like damn cash me out and STFU. Stop trying to be Google, da fuq.
Sears has something Amazon doesn’t, commercial space. Sears could of beaten Amazon if they transitioned to a online focus instead of merging with K-Mart. In store pick ups instead of paying for delivery is something all mums would love. But nah Eddie rather sell Sears off brick by brick till they file for Bankruptcy, which happened yesterday. First he spun off Lands’ End, then sold Craftsman and next to go is Kenmore. He’s honestly just looking for anything to sell to stay afloat. So while Sears suffered, he and his buddies got rich.
Here’s where it gets even more fucked, in 2015 Sears sold $2.7 Billion worth of real estate Sears owned to Seritage Growth Properties, another company Eddie boy owns. At malls and other Sears locations, Sears owns the land they sit on. So when a Sears location closes, Seritage is now able to sell that property for money and make Eddie even richer. THIS IS LEGIT CORPORATE RAPE! Only rich white boys get away with rape, even if in this case its only figuratively. I can’t believe he is getting away with this. Is it because he is buddies with U.S. Treasury secretary Steven Mnuchin, another dumbass.
What will happen to those who work at Sears or even scarier have a pension with them? Are they fucked? Will they get a severance payment…… lets be for real they ain’t getting a dime. The pension was probably tied to Sears stock which is worth shit. Maybe I’m wrong IDK but all I know is more and more people are getting screwed while the 1% is getting richer. Just look at Toys R Us, another company destroyed by stupidity. I’m fucking making coffee with a Keurig while Eddie’s whipping his ass with $100’s. So thanks Eddie for destroying Sears, have fun in hell with Bernie Madoff!
Xoxo Eddie Lampert is worth $1 billion….let that sink in
Sir Dutches 
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