I am honestly OVER people bitching to me about their stupidity. Bitching about how they got a rash down below because they didn’t wear a condom. Or how they went back to LOSER ass ex. Or my personal favorite, how they got a UTI because THEY were too lazy to go pee. I warned your ass that would happen! How difficult is it to go pee? UTI’s are SOOO LAST SEASON. Grow up Becky.
This past weekend I had an AMAZING time, my baby girl however didn’t since her box burns more than a fireball shot. If she follows my rules we could of gotten brunch, instead of her spending the day at Planned Parenthood. I’m like royalty there, STOP embarrassing me. Sex may be fun at the time but when you actually think of it, its gross. Girls have an open wound that’s just chilling all day, allowing bugs and spiders to crawl up it. Dicks are even worse, they are FULL of bacteria and because of the friction, this causes even more bacteria! Its like Onondaga Lake, HOW NASTY! So literally a dirty ass dick is going into you, GROSS! This is why its so important to pee after sex. It allows our bodies to naturally release all that nastiness. If you don’t pee, bacteria deadass chills inside of you causing the UTI or some times something even worse. Its like do you want your box to be a toxic dump. Most girlies can hold their pee for 3 to 6 hours….DON’T! Stop being lazy. Worst comes to worst just pee the bed. Blame his ass next morning, he can clean it up.
Next, wear lose clothing like you’re homeless. Why? Because bacteria likes warm areas trapped with moisture aka your box. This is why girls who wear mad yogas are type dirty. Because they are literally allowing their box to become a waste bed of bacteria. Also check you pee, if your pee is brown or orange you need water! Chill with the vodka sodas and get a water dumbass. Water not only helps with a hangover but it helps you NOT burn when pee. Thanks God! He always making mad useful shit!
So the moral of this article, make every person you hook up with shower before hand. Being dirty isn’t fun and its mad expensive. Just ask my girlies. UTI cream costs like $15 dollars, that 2 Redbull Vodkas! Also fucking go pee my God it’s NOT that hard. Legit can people start treating their bodies like a temple. Hard to get in but when you do, you CAN’T get out. Why be dirty and allow any fuck boy in. Its gross and God be judging you.
Xoxo yogas = UTI
Sir Dutches 
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