Anyone who has my nudes knows I love Harry Potter. Maybe its because I too also grew up living under the stairs because my family was jealous of my “abilities”. Or maybe its because I wish I could use magic to erase my drunk nights from every ones minds. Either way I’m a hoe for Harry Potter. I first became acquainted with The Boy Who Lived after they announced they were making the books into a film series.
Me Mum purchased them all for me as a wee lad and I read them like they were crack. Not gonna lie I’ve read them at least 3 times a piece. You can pick them up and start at any part and become hooked. I swear JK Rowling is like a literary drug dealer. My whole family loves this shit, we used to go to the Barnes & Noble midnight book release parties like a group of corns. My wedding will be Harry Potter themed and yes TT will dress up as Voldemort.
When J.K. announced she was turning the series into a play I was so hesitate. I didn’t want it to be a quick grab for cash like that dookie ass Spider-Man play. Why did I ever doubt honestly the greatest writer of my lifetime. Think about it, she was broker than me and created a billion dollar series with one random idea in a coffee shop. Can that PLEASE happen to me, I’m like always at Starbucks.
The play first debuted in London then earlier this year it premiered on Broadway. I wanted to go but tickets were like $500 a piece and hard to get. Even worse, its two parts and you have to pay $500 for EACH TICKET! I love me some Broadway like every other boy who does Jazz Hands but come on chill with these prices! That’s the cost of some peoples rent.
But fear not, they have a lottery to win tickets for $20 a piece. Legit I have entered this lottery every Friday for the past year. And every Friday I got the same message, “Sorry better luck next time”. I was like really God? I deserve to be happy damn it. So after giving mad $1’s to the homeless to boost up my karma. God finally blessed me last week by having little old me win! I honestly cried. Because my sister is a traveling stripper she couldn’t attend so I took my baby girl who I used to attend the midnight movie premieres with. God I was a loser, but at least I was cute with it.
I refuse to take the bus to New York City after the Chinatown fiasco of 2013 with Mama Dutches, so we decided to drive. Talk about traffic city my God people cant drive. I honestly don’t get traffic, like if everyone just drove at the same time, we wouldn’t be at a standstill. It’s so Selfish!
Our seats were legit the front row, literally I could touch the stage & hear the cast breathing. When we sat the Usher legit poor shamed us by saying “oh look the Friday Forty winners”. Really girl? I honestly heard a grunt. I didn’t dress THIS cute for people to think I’m basic. She deff did that on purpose.
I truly was hook from the second the play started. From the music, to the sets and the cast, I LOVED IT ALL. Literally everyone in the cast was perfect, it was like watching a new movie. So many giggles and gasps. And yeah to everyone who was around me I apologize for my gasps. Rumor was there was a “few” complaints about them! I’m sorry I was shook at the plot twists! Mad shit happened, dont blame me, blame JK Rowling. It was a roller coaster of emotions.
If people were salty at a few gasps they should NOT go see Rocky Horror Picture Show, people throw shit and yell, its honestly crazy, but I love it! Also someone yelled “Hail Hitler” during a play 2 weeks ago so I’m a saint compared to him. The same SAID complainer also said I was recording the play, BOY BYE.
I’m an open book, I gave security my phone and said look threw it, Daddy has nothing to hide. Acting like I got a tripod under my crop top, EYEROLL! They apologized for even entertaining that BUM and we processed with part 2.
In all this play gets 11 out of 10 baby girls. If you can keep my ass entertained for a two part play that all together is like 5 hours, you win all the Tony’s. I was nervous it would drag on but it didn’t, maybe that was due to the Moscow Mules. Which side note, tasted like A1 sauce, I gagged. Where the hell was the alcoholic butterbeer???
Xoxo on a side note, the gays have taking over Harlem
Sir Dutches 
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