Stop inviting me to Secret Santa, I know your ass is poor too!

Okay can we end all this Secret Santa bullshit? I do one a year with my family and maybe my girlies if they HAVEN’T disappointed me lately. I BARLEY can afford gifts for me ma and pa, you really think I have the time or the money to get random hoes one as well, girl please. Let’s use that money for some good, like paying off our credit cards.

I love when my home girls complain to me about how their credit card is maxed, but then asking me what is my cardigan size. GIRL it’s a large! BUT, use that money to pay MORE than your minimum payment. My Christmas wish is for you to STOP being basic, pay off that shit & boost your credit score. The fact that it’s the same as your weight is VERY alarming.

My homegirl told me her job is doing secret Santa but its cool, the budget is $25 a piece. Bish WHAT! Y’all work in a diner, put that money towards your kids gift, da fuq are you thinking. STOP trying to impress your co-workers its NOT working. Acting like they don’t see your mans drop you off in a piece of shit van with rust everywhere. I just pitty them. Can everyone STOP acting like they can afford to live above their means. Its not a good look for you or your bank account.

A couple years ago one of my baby girls “surprised” the group with gifts. I was LIVID! I had to run out and buy her a month supply of Plan-B, her fav. Like why would she do that? Did I ask for a gift? NO. She did it to be EXTRA. Again another girl with MAD debt running around doing THE MOST! The gift givers are the ones who NEVER have cash downtown so your ass has to cover for them. Where are they getting this end of the year money? Their coke dealers? Or they selling pussy pics again?

When I have ample warning, I give THE best gift. Yeah they all involve sexy pictures of me, but people love to see my cute face as soon as they wake up. One year I got my family and friends during Secret Santa candles with the most sexual pictures of me. For my babygirl Lexys birthday I got her a big ass picture of again, me being sexy. Its truly a conversation starter. People either are like “Okay this art work must of cost a fortune” or  “who the hell is this skinny ass naked kid on your wall”. So in short, stop acting rich cause the IRS and I know the truth.

Xoxo I want fur coats for Christmas, NOT a shitty picture of us

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