Can people start respecting their elders like Jesus Christ who raised you? Satan? What farm are you from? I love old people. I find them adorable and their gossip soooo juicy. This is why I always hang out at nursing homes aka sugar daddy central. I get the scoop on the great depression and make some side cash by sexually feeding them their pills.
They don’t need that money no more and their grand babies are sooo ungrateful. Plus my grandparents are all dead because everyone I love dies, so I’m super defenses of old people. This is why when my psycho baby girl went ape shit on a sweet old ladies and her gals, I HAD to get her ass committed…..again.
I’m assuming she is testing new meds or something because I was jaw dropped. This is NOT Bad Girls Club: Old bitch edition. We were getting drinks after a long day of work. I needed the biggest Titos pineapple legally possible. Rude people is what causes people to drink. So every client at work that is mean to me please know you are killing my liver. Anyways, we were sipping when my other friend, the back stabber, put her coat on a seat to save it for her friend. Who BTW never showed up, could she not get a baby sitter?
Okay its happy hour we don’t “save” seats but whatever, NOT my place to cause a scene so I stayed hush. She then goes to the other side of the bar to talk to our other friends who just got there, and stays there for 45 minutes. I know the exact time because the game was on, go BOYSssss. So during this time she left her coat over TWO seats. Again this is happy hour wtf, this isn’t musical chairs. You have one seat and that’s it. This isn’t a timeshare.
In walks in a group of adorable sassy old gals who sit 3 seats down from us. They need one more chair, even if there wasn’t two open with a dirty ass coat on it, I would of given them my seat. Because that’s what a good Catholic would do. I didn’t even get a chance to offer her my seat, she asked us if she can have chair. I go, “Of course, have fun ladies, don’t get in too much trouble”. My sweet old angel didn’t even have time to giggle.
Out of no where my psycho friend screams like a banshee, “ARE YOU BLIND? THERE’S A FUCKING COAT ON IT, NO YOU CAN’T”. I was mortified. Do you want to give Grandma a fucking heart attack? My God let her ass sit. She did NOT fight for your right to dress like a slut for you to treat her like this. I go, “sis its fine she’s not sitting there anymore, she’s legit across the bar, this isn’t a Hooters, you can’t save seats”. She goes, “I DON’T CARE SHE CAN’T SIT THERE SIT SOMEWHERE ELSE, THAT’S HER SEAT”.
I was genuinely confused. Did my friend have previous beef with Grandma Bonnie? Is she ageist? Did Grandma’s son cheat on her? Like Jesus Christ home girl isn’t a heifer give her the chair. She yells, “SO IF I GO TO THE BATHROOM I LOSE MY SEAT”. No you loon, home girl is across the bar, NOT taking a shit. Slow your roll crazy girl.
Finally a couple leaving gives them their chair. I wanted to die. These old people are judging me for associating with wanna be Bad Girl .That’s when it clicked, home girl gotta be off her meds . I called Cpep(the psychward) and got her committed immediately. I am NOT playing. She is BIG mad at me so fingers crossed its for longer that 72 hours! I don’t need that negativity.
Xoxo Grandma wanted a Margarita, NOT an ass whooping
Sir Dutches 
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