Last Saturday my girlies and I went downtown. I knew it was gonna be a wack ass night because they invited their boyfriends without my permission. But I put on a brave face anyways and ATTEMPTED to have a good time. At least have the common decency to give me a heads up, what part of DADDY DAUGHTER NIGHT don’t they understand? They ain’t Daddy’s and they ain’t daughters, so whats the confusion? Any hoo back to the potential kidnapping story, we were at Clinton Street Pub just dancing the night away. As always, all eyes on us.
I am dancing off the little weight I have when I notice this one older dude and his man ass looking girlfriend were starring at us. Now being a group of bad bitching, this happens often. But I got weird ass vibes from him so I kept a distance. After 30 minutes my girlie goes okay we need to fucking go, I go come on this my jam, she goes NOW. I was like okay, either she is dying for a slice of Nick’s Pizzeria or something real bad happened or she just has bad gas.
We go outside and she deadass looks all distraught like some single mom, I was like did you see your trash bag ex? But she didn’t giggle, instead she told me a scary ass story. That dude that gave me bad vibes came up next to her and was like “You wanna come with us”, looking at his girlfriend while he said this. His hoe smiles and my friend goes” yeah no I’m good”, because she isn’t a dumbass.
The guy then legit grabs her arms hella hard and goes “No you’re coming with us”. This dude fucked with the wrong bad bitch, my girl will beat ass. She rips him off and goes, “No I’m fucking not my boyfriends over there and will beat your ass”. I’m surprised she didn’t say, “My sassy friend over is packing some heat, you’ll get a cap in your ass mid twerk”. But really her mans would beat this guys ass. So thankfully this dude took a hint and him and his shady ass girlfriend left.
What the fuck was their intentions? My girlie thought it was for a 3-some but honestly I think it was much sinister. This dude brings his girlies with him downtown to find new girls to pimp out. This was some sex trafficking shit. And mad people don’t know this but Syracuse has a serious sex trafficking problem. Cough Cough a certain strip club downtown.
I honestly believe that was this guys intentions and that fucking scares me. What if my girlie did go away with them because she was fucked up? These scumbags drug these girls then take them away for life. This isn’t like the movie Taken, go find a real job. I’ve read so many stories of shit like this happening and they never find the girl again. HOW SCARY, ladies get pepper spray or a tazer asap rocky.
And I know some of you are like, “Oh come on Matt, you’re being dramatic”. No I’m not you’re just ugly. Ugly people don’t have to worry about this, pretty bitches like my girlies and I are in danger every time we leave the house. Mad people wanna kidnap us and like can you blame them? Just look at TT, who wouldn’t wanna lock her up in their basement against her will. I mean, I can’t even go to Barnes and Nobles without getting cat called, it’s traumatizing. “Nice ass skin and bones” or “Damn that rib cage looks sexy”. Some days I wish I was ugly like the rest of you hoes.
But in all seriousness, please everyone be safe. Have Find my Friends turn on and if you have it turned on but the location off because of one psycho friend who stalks you, DELETE THAT FRIEND. Being kidnapped because you don’t have your location on is NOT a cute look.
Xoxo you ugly bitches have it so easy
Sir Dutches 
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