Kanye and I accepted Jesus Christ as our lord and savor…. so when the hell will YOU?!

I’ve been a life long fan of God and Kanye, way before Fox News was. 6th grade I begged my mom to take me to the Kanye concert at the dome for block party but she refused. That’s when I started a list of the shittiest nursing homes for her to attend. Hope she likes the smell of cigarettes and piss.

When Kanye decided to accept Jesus Christ as his lord and savor I was hyped. I love me some gospel music. Seriously its lowkey lit. Old school church music is classic, relaxing, kind of scary but lets be real, hella depressing sometimes. New church music is legit face down ass up.

When I go to my Auntie Mickey’s church, Word of Life for court ordered community service, I go off. Like its lowkey a dance party. As soon as you walk in they be jamming. It makes me wanna 2 step. The live band is so good and the singers are unreal. I scream yass jesus girl yass the whole time.

So imagine that mixed with a Kanye West beat, and you got “Jesus is King”. His new album that just makes me feel so good inside. Like even thou the world hates me, my main boy God doesn’t.

The whole album is him letting us know Jesus and God ALWAYS got our back. You feel down and alone? Talk to Jesus! Yeah you may look crazy talking to yourself but who cares, everyone’s judging you already for looking type greasy.

Some people are fans of his new album, others are so burnt he is singing about God. Give me a break hoe! How miserable can you be? Bitter bitches stay away from my God. We don’t need that negativity in heaven.

The youth needs some Jesus in their lives, they be bad as hell. Even Satan’s like “Yoooo these kids be naughty, where there mama?”. They all need Jesus and a bar of soap. They ain’t afraid of their daddy, their mama, the police, NO ONE.

Well be afraid of God because HE WILL STRIKE YOUR ASS DOWN with a bolt of lightening. We all remember Noah from the Bible but we don’t remember his friend Randy because he died in the flood that God caused cause he was over everyone’s rude ass. God doesn’t play, you test him you will get your karma. May it be death or even worse, your psycho baby daddy being released from prison early.

When I am mean to someone I swear God gives me pimples. Like when I exposed my fake homeless cousin(which btw he is STILL out there), I woke up the next day and had like 4 pimples on my forehead. I was like damn God okay I’ll’ do 7 hail Mary’s. That’s why when I gossip too much I’ll do a quick pray to wash me of my sin, “Dear God please forgive me for I have gossiped”.

People are always shocked when I say I believe in God. Yeah I live in a life of sin but who doesn’t. One said “how can you support someone who doesn’t support you”. Bitch when did you hear that come from Gods mouth? You didn’t!

Just because some random weirdo said some rude ass shit years later in the bible doesn’t mean it’s Gods word. God and I BOTH don’t know that poser. He don’t speak for MY GOD! He probably was a closet Gay and that’s why he said that “man thou not lay next to another man unless he says no homo” shit in the bible. We get it dude, you wanna play ass tag.

God always be helping out too if you are in his fan club. Like when you go to meet a tinder date and start to get a bad feeling but then you’re like fuck it I deserve some ass and he ends up being a catfish, THAT WAS A GOD. If you accepted him in your life he would of told you, “hoe turn your ass around you gonna die”. But no you rather smoke your Juuls, lick ice cream in Walmart and be bad as fuck.

God is always looking out for us but y’all are too focused on getting some booty to notice. For example, when you just get a bad feeling about a friend and later find out she’s been stealing your cigarettes. That happened to TT and yeah we caught the bitch on camera. But we wouldn’t of if it wasn’t for Jesus Christ my lord and savor.

I can look at someone and God whispers in my ear, “Embrace her” or “End her” to let me know if she loyal or if she a snake. If it wasn’t for God I would still have mad snakes in my life. Little devils selling my nudes to TMZ, God exposed y’all to me. Well it’s either God or Maliki the evil spirit that posses my body.

I like knowing I got someone watching me 24/7 like I’m on the Truman Show. The Daddy Show is a non stop shit show that God, Jesus and everyone else in heaven be laughing at. If the citizens of heaven are good, God let’s them throw me a bone and have something good happen to me. Unfortunately it seems like they be bad as fuck cause I still be waiting for my bone.

I hope this isn’t a gimmick for Kanye because the Lord doesn’t take kindly to those who use his name for profit. That’s why Joel Osteen & Jim Bob Duggar are so damn ugly. It is just crazy how last year Kanye was singing “I’m a sick fuck I like to quick fuck” and now we got my friend’s religious mom sharing his new song “God is” on Facebook. But he has always been a Jesus boy, going back to “Jesus Walks” so maybe this is legit or may he just wants that tax free lifestyle that comes with running a church.

Xoxo don’t even ASK me if I can put in a good word in for you to God , he already thinks you’re dirty

Baddest Bitch In Heaven ❤
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