Harry Potter and the shitty spinoffs

I am just downright confused at what the hell J. K. Rowling and Warner Brothers was thinking after the last Harry Potter film premiered. Y’all should of taken a year off, relaxed, had a Titos butter beer and gathered your thoughts and ideas on where this franchise can go next. Instead y’all rushed into it and created a half ass spinoff that is beyond confusing.

It’s called the “Fantastic Beasts” series, but now is about Dumbledore and Grindelwald? You made Newt feel like a secondary character in his own franchise, like wtf. Too many new characters were introduced in the sequel. The whole time I was asking myself “who is that new bitch”?

As a lifelong HP fan I am BEYOND disappointed. I went to almost every book and movie midnight release like some stinking cornball. This new series is more embarrassing than that. I am next going to breakdown how J.K. SHOULD have led the spinoff series, instead of the fucking messing we have now.

First, I would have kept “Fantastic Beasts” as the next spinoff. This could have been the “Indiana Jones” of the Wizarding World”. Each film could have followed Newt and crew attempting to capture a new creature to study and report on for his novel. First one can be fun and cute. But at the end a wizard from afar comes and tells a sad story of children getting sick and only the feather from a rare beast can save them. Damn, I got chills! Now we have the plot for the sequel in this series. So amazing! Wow creativity on fleek.

The next series would have focused on Dumbledore and Grindelwald. She should have never told anyone Dumbledore was gay. Girl jump the gun and made everyone hate it from the start. It felt forced! Instead this series would follow them as teenagers. Picture a magical dark rom com.

Grindelwald is the new emo boy who moved to Godric’s Hollow. At first Dumbledore and him don’t get along but then they have an intense wand duel and bam a romantic kiss. They hide it at first but then people find out, a fight breaks out and Dumbledore’s sister dies. Juicy drama am I right! Grindelwald runs away and Dumbledore is left holding his sisters dead body.

The next sequel will focus on them rebuilding themselves. Dumbledore decides to focus on becoming a teacher but finds hiding his secret difficult. He keeps talking about musicals and Judy Garland to everyone.

Grindelwald goes down the classic “I’m deff not a homo” road so to prove it he starts a evil cult and builds followers. The movie ends with him having a mass killing of muggles in public. Which leads to the final movie and show down.

Dumbledore versus Grindelwald. Dumbledore obvs wins cause he a bad bitch. That series is over but if you wait till the end credits, there’s a scene of a little boy in an orphanage who gets a rush of green energy down his body, he looks up at the camera and his eyes turn snake like, oh shit its Voldemort!

Yeah I just credited a teaser for the NEXT spinoff series, The rise of Voldemort, papi always thinking! This one focuses on the rise of Voldemort, while the next movie focuses on the Order of the Phoenix. Both will meet in the team up film “The War for the Wizarding World”. Guys Warner Brothers needs to hire me. I just came up with 3 bomb ass film series.

Hell we could even make a television series that focuses on Magic in America. One about Natives and the start of magic. Life is great, hunting and gathering during the day, casting spells and dancing at night. Until the suspecious white man comes over from the sea. Will trusting them and showing them their magic be their downfall or the start of a new friendship. Y’all know the answer to that. But don’t worry, my native baby girls will get their revenge. It’s like an Anti-Pocahontas.

Another is a modern day story about students at the wizarding school in America. I want Riverdale type corny drama mixed with Lost type mysteries. Can these students put their petty drama aside and discover the mystery of their school to save their classmates before prom? Or will their drama be their downfall? Holy Shit I am on a roll y’all! Anyone steals any of this imma beat your ass.

J.K. and Warner Brothers took a year off from making the 3rd Fantastic Beasts movie to rework the script and that was their smartest decision to date. I am praying they can fix this mess because shit has too many cook in that kitchen. The last film didn’t make as much as they expected so if this one doesn’t do better, shit is NOT looking good for JK. That is why they need to hire Papi!

The play, “Cursed Child” is amazing BTW, I wouldn’t change a thing. I love how she made a story that could of been a new movie in the OG series but instead turned it into a play. Girl that was smart! Yeah I had my seats moved due to some drama that was out of my hands and into Gods, but I still remember and enjoyed the play so keep your shade to yourself aunties.

Xoxo & yes my Harry Potter themed wedding is still on for October 2021 ❤

 

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