Can you wanna be bad ass suburban girlies give your mom a break? She doesn't bust her ass at work WHILE GETTING HER MASTERS, to come home and deal with your bullshit. You think her ass wants to come home and deal with you being a deadbeat, lowlife while your trash bag boyfriend is hiding... Continue Reading →
Can people start respecting their elders like Jesus Christ who raised you? Satan? What farm are you from? I love old people. I find them adorable and their gossip soooo juicy. This is why I always hang out at nursing homes aka sugar daddy central. I get the scoop on the great depression and make... Continue Reading →
My skinny minnie co-worker wrongly thought this years Valentines Day will consist of her eating Ice Cream while crying herself to sleep again. BOY WAS SHE WRONG. Her new bumble mystery mans surprised her at work with a Valentines Day miracle. She STILL waiting on gifts her past boyfriends promised her but "lost". Show me... Continue Reading →
Unless you are friends with some old ass people who have memory issues, your friends didn't forget to invite you to painting with a twist, they just don't fucks with you anymore. That lack of invite is called SHADE. Think about what YOU did to be in this situation. I'm over people saying "Oh I... Continue Reading →
Just because I'm still in the Christmas spirit, doesn't mean I won't cut a bitch. I was having an AMAZING Christmas weekend till I realized someone jacked my Tim's. Shit are hella old and bunk looking but STILL who the hell does that. They lucky my boys weren't with me. We ride 15 homies deep.... Continue Reading →
I truly feel bad for my baby girl. First it was someone keying her car saying "cum dumpster", which she can't fix till the insurance check comes in. So yeah she's driving around looking like a dumb ass. Then it was the anonymous emails of her nudes. Now it's her being fired because her mans secret... Continue Reading →
Listen, daddy loves a bargain just like every lower-middle class skank, but I ain't gonna fight a bitch over it? Is saving $10 dollars really worth a misdemeanor? They're gonna have the same sale in 2 weeks, stop looking like a ghetto ass baby girl, everyone on Facebook is judging you, me included. Black Friday... Continue Reading →
I'm all about having a bomb ass attitude to all. If I know you, my ass gonna scream "heyyyyy girl hey". Even if I haven't seen you in years, I'mma still make you feel REAL special. So when I don't get the same in return, but instead a nasty ass cold shoulder. Imma forever remember... Continue Reading →
Why can't my girlies call me and say, "Daddy I fell in love, he's a doctor and his family is loaded I'm so happy lets go to Ibiza". I wish. Instead I get calls like, "I found out he has a kid", or "He didnt text me back cause he got locked up" or my... Continue Reading →
I am so shook & truly confused on who the hell my homegirl thought she was last night. She asked me, no she begged me to get a drink with her. She found out her tinder mans has a kid so she was thirsty to drink it off I guess? Karma really is a bitch.... Continue Reading →
Sir Dutches 