This last weekend I was at the Cardi B concert at the Lakeview Amphitheater. It was an AMAZING time of twerking, drinking and making my father ashamed of me once again. I expected to make memories, maybe even blackout, but NEVER in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would be offered an amazing opportunity... Continue Reading →
After watching Addams Family Values, I always wanted to go to summer camp. I envisioned myself as the mean rich bitch at camp, bossing all the peasants around because MY DADDDDDYY DONATED THE NEW BOAT LAUNCH. But sadly the only camps I went to was Circus camp where one would think I would shine but... Continue Reading →
I am seriously alarmed at how a group of people are acting like this one former bad bitch from our past ISN'T a scary sweaty hot mess right now. I'm getting serious Amanda Bynes vibes and its NOT okay. Like am I going to have to organize the intervention or will her "friends" man the... Continue Reading →
Every time I look over and see how bomb and flawless my baby girl looks, I think of all the other people who need to hear of her success story. Saying you can't lose weight because "You're big boned" is fake news. We used to think the same about my Queen but then she discovered... Continue Reading →
I am SO over seeing cute ass mums with rude ass baby daddy's. No wonder they spend all their time watching Hallmark RomComs and Christmas movies. Because they are so uphappy with their own lives! Their mans is so fucking nasty with his bitter ass attitude, it's gotta be draining. He never wants to take... Continue Reading →
Can we just have a normal week? For the past few years its one shit show after another. Last year we had killer clowns running around. Now we have an internet "virus" named momo that is telling children to kill themselves. I truly thought this hot topic looking ass bitch was a joke, until I... Continue Reading →
My skinny minnie co-worker wrongly thought this years Valentines Day will consist of her eating Ice Cream while crying herself to sleep again. BOY WAS SHE WRONG. Her new bumble mystery mans surprised her at work with a Valentines Day miracle. She STILL waiting on gifts her past boyfriends promised her but "lost". Show me... Continue Reading →
I am trying this new thing where I stop and wait for all the facts to come forward before I give my opinion on an issue that has gone viral. Prime example of why is the Covington Catholic High School boys incident. At first I thought these boys went out of their way to be... Continue Reading →
Every morning on my way to work I listen to NPR to get a recap of the daily news. There is nothing more soothing than listening to the news in a mono toned voice. Today as I was listening I felt like I went back in time to the 1940's after I heard there was... Continue Reading →
I had a feeling my tax refund would be less than last years but a whole $400 less? So rude. Papi Trump WHY! I made way more in 2018 and compared to 2017 so I thought I could at least afford a new fur wrap and a Chanel necklace. But now I can only afford... Continue Reading →
Sir Dutches 