Demi’s relapse shows us addiction affects EVERYONE. Thank God the few times I experimented ended in misery.


I’ve been a Demi Lovato fan since day one, like no joke. From the Camp rock days to Sunny with a chance, I’ve seen them all. This was when she was young, cute and innocent. However we didn’t know their was a dark side to all her fame. I remember it like it was yesterday. There was reports on TMZ that Demi was under investigation and her show was on hiatus but nothing else. This was at the rise of twitter so the media wasn’t reporting much but Twitter was flowing with rumors.

Photos of her at red carpet events showed marks that looked like she was cutting but her PR team said it was from wearing bracelets.  Because she was a Disney Channel star the truth was hush hush till years later when she came out with her documentary about her struggles. It was revealed that she started smoke weed at like 14 and coke and prescription pills at 17, she also was self harming herself. I get so emotional thinking that someone could be in that much pain that they would go so far as to cut themselves, I cry over a paper cut.

The reason for her investigation was because allegedly a back up dancer confronted her about her drinking problem and she snapped and legit beat her ass. Theres a trend with young child stars and addiction issues. These kids are filming all day, then after filming she goes to the recording studio then on tour. We bitch about the 9 to 5 life, thats legit the 24/7 life. Then to make it even better on your days off you get harassed by TMZ and people on the internet. At first it may sound fun but its not, it sounds like hell. All that pressure to live up to your “image” must be so hard!!

Her comeback song and album was Skyscrapers and I still get chills every time I hear it. Demi took her struggles and instead of covering them up she told the world her story. So many people can relate with what she was going thru so its no wonder she’s one of the few from Disney Channel to actually make it big time.

People act as if celebrities have it all due to their money and fame but they have problems too! Her father left her family due to his own struggles with drugs and alcohol. The way the media forces you to have the perfect body led her to have a eating disorder, it honestly must be hell. Celebrities are meant to entertain us, may it be in movie, TV or music but when they say cut they should be able to have a chill, normal life. The obsession with celebrities is whats causing all these drug issues. The pressure to live up and impress your fans honestly would push me to drugs too.

People tend to use drugs and alcohol as a way to cope with issues. When I didn’t “Accept” myself (as gay as that sounds), I liked to drink hardcore. Its an easy and cheap way to forget your problems. It turned me nasty and rude to the ones around me. I was using it as a way to forget my issues and to just have fun. But alcohol isn’t weed, you don’t just chill and laugh at lot. Instead you get nasty, rude, vicious and in my case, message people bizarre and cruel shit. It was finally after my 5th fight with one of my closest friends that I realized this isn’t cute. Luckily it was only alcohol and I realized I needed to chill but imagine if I didn’t I developed an issues. I know a few people my age who legit have drinking problems but view it as “oh Im just young and having fun”. No honey you have a secret you are trying to suppress, not my story to tell but let me just say, hit me up papi.

The pressure this world puts on people is unreal. Nothing is good enough anymore. If you finish college, they immediately wanna know what your new jobs is. LET US CHILL! Everyone should be able to live their life without the judgement of others. I used to be a judgey bitch(I still kind of am) but then I realized people definitely are judging me too!

I feel blessed everyday due to the fact that I don’t have to struggle with that. I have never experimented with hardcore drugs, (acid and LSD scares me) but I have dabbled in the past. Besides weed, every other thing I have tried, has been a horrible experience. The time I did shrooms, I got high after and forgot I ate them, then left my friends house to go home. Half way home thats when it hit me, I was fucked up. I didn’t start to see shit but I did start to hear a voice in the back of my head saying, “Crash the car, think of all the attention you would get”. At first I thought it was just my mind but then the voice got deeper and was screaming.

I am not making this up, I was truly terrified. I pulled the car over at the nearest parking out and called my friend to pick me up. Thank God he did because I then started to legit trip balls thinking I was in a water park. I peed all over my moms car and legit was screaming out the window at people. Finally after 3 hours I came down from this hell and went home, my parents had zero clue I was legit fucked up on shrooms. However, hours later after I wake up from my drugged up nap I went to burn with my friend to legit figure out what the hell happened. When I came home, thats when my parents found out I smoke weed, can you say karma.

The one time I did coke was even worse. I was living in Albany, pregaming before we hit up this bar. My friend was doing lines with everyone else and offered me one, these were my new friends so I wanted to look cool, I said yes, worse decision of my life. At first I am having fun with it, the bartended was like you smell like weed if you have some ill give you free drinks if we smoke. So obvs I said yes, I go into the bathroom to roll up and thats when it hit me. I got the spins so bad I thought my insides were about to pop out. Luckily I was in the bathroom so I can throw up in peace, but it was only one stall, so mad people were knocking on the door. After 20 minutes I threw water on my face and ran out that bathroom so fast. The bartended goes “Are we gonna smoke”, I go “no Im dying nice to meet you” and run out.

Then the rest of the night is a blur besides when I woke up the next morning with throw up all over my clothes and I was at the steps of my apartment. Truly scary shit, I have no clue how I got home! I could of been kidnapped, raped or worst, Pledged for a frat. But it gets even better, my parents were coming to visit so I had to wash my clothes. I throw them in the “washer” and go about my business trying to cope with a hangover. An hour before my parents arrived, I check on my nasty throw up clothes, thats when I realize it. I deadass put my clothes and the laundry detergent in the DRYER! I legit ruined that machine, it was nasty, dry throw up mixed with detergent everywhere. I decided to take the L, and just throw my clothes out.

I truly believe God had this happened on purpose because he wanted to teach me a lesson, if it aint green, don’t touch it. Thats why the legalization of weed is so important. It can help slow down and hopefully stop Americans addiction to opioids. They are truly destroying America. Lets before real, when it was a poor persons problem no one cared but now with Demi and the death of Phillip Seymour Hoffman hopefully people take it more seriously. We need to stop judging the ones we know who are addicts and actually start caring. Stop waiting till after they die to act like you care.  Hit them up more, ask them to go for walks, just talk to them! You could be the one person that helps save them.

Whats even scarier is most of these young kids today aren’t going out of their way to try heroin, instead they are looking to try Molly or Coke but really its laced with white heroin or fentanyl. These kids have no clue what they are really taking, how scary is that. I know someone who bought “coke” not to long ago and it was laced with something that legit fucked them up. Cold shakes, throwing up everywhere, so sick to the point they think they are going to die. HOW SCARY IS THAT. If your dealer doesn’t do it themselves, DON’T buy it. Actually don’t even try it, its not worth the 30 minutes of “fun”.

Xoxo pull thru Demi ❤

P.s. to talk to someone about addiction or just to gossip call For help call 1-800-622-4357 or email me at any hour, I NEVER SLEEP

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