Due to iOS12 dudes can’t lie about their dick size no more

I have ALWAYS been an Apple baby, no android trash over here. Green texts are for basics. Ain’t NOBODY wanna be with a mans who has a galaxy or HTC phone, it’s just a bad look. Respect yourself sis. It’s crazy to think how many different android phones there are, but I honestly know no one who has one! Thank god my friends have self respect.

I’ve been doing the iPhone Beta program for about 3 summers now. The way it works, Apple announces in June the new iOS software and then releases it in September. During the summer they allow losers like me to test it out. This is brilliant because it works out all the kinks and issues. The past two years my phone honestly had mad issues when using the beta software but this summer there has been like zero issues. I was shocked how smooth the software worked. Tim Cook must be whipping these workers into shape!

I know they say this every time but iOS 12 is honestly the dopest. There isn’t a drastic change but there are little new features that make it lit. My favorite feature is the measurement app. If you have an iPhone X you can use this new app, sorry iPhone 8 users. It allows you to use your phone as a ruler. You can measure ANYTHING, including tits and dick size. If homegirl say she got some big ass tittys make her measure that shit, nobody likes a lair. If homeboy says he 8 inches, soft, make his ass prove it! No more lies or baby dicks y’all!!!

I’m a grower…

Another lit feature is the new Animoji’s. They are soo cute!!! You can use them on FaceTime or in text. They have animals, ghosts and you can make your own. Mama Dutches and I love it, I mostly use this ghetto white ginger.

The face moves with your face, it’s so real it’s creepy! Wait omg FaceTime sex with the dinosaur face would be so hot!! You can also now do group FaceTime, which I won’t be doing. I don’t need 5 people talking over me, da fuq.

Today is apples new iPhone release event (actually it’s tomorrow I’m a dumbass) and honestly it’s crazy how many people turn into it. Does Google even have release events like this? Does anyone even care? Nah because we all know google be selling our info, that’s why their phones are so cheap!

Xoxo miss me with that green text bullshit

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